bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
