All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What did we do last night that was yellow?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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