i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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