She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
