i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
high people should be assigned attendants
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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