love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
