Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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