sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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