Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize