New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
