Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
