found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
