My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
