she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
