Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
