i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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