??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
this is an emotional support booty call
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
