You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
