Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
