my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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