Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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