Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
