Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
