I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
