i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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