omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We just shotgunned beers for America
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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