I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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