Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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