I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
