First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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