whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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