well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
