Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
