I want to have your abortion
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
