I accidentally burped into my bong.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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