These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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