Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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