For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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