After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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