what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
