are you still at the devil's house?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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