Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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