Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
