so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
