I need help removing her.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
