The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
