WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
