They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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