oh god the rape fog is back!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
