Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
